I realize now that it was pretty presumptuous to name this blog “Being in the American West.” The word has been rolling around in my brain the last few days and I’m still not sure I have a good handle on it but I’ll try to write a few things because the definition kind of intersects with life right now.

The dictionary says the simple definition of being is existence. Simple enough, most of us who write or read blogs exist, perhaps some are imaginary but I’m not equipped to explain being(s) inside ones brain so. Existence. Existence is “the fact or state of living or having objective reality. I exist, i’m aware I exist so I am being. The interesting question for me at this stage of life is how am I being? I’m existing as an architect, faculty member, dad, but i have aspirations as many of us do. I’m an aspiring painter, woodworker (who still can’t keep a good enough edge on a chisel to make a clean dovetail) and maybe sculptor. I aspire to all those, and to being a good partner to someone, something that will take me more work, but i’m making the investment.

I aspire to be more than I aspire to own things i hope. Make no mistake, i have a LOT of stuff, books, tools, drawings, sharks teeth etc. But I don’t aspire to much more, maybe some mid-century furniture once Brook Hollow clears out. Aspiring though doesn’t get the job done, it all takes work, work that takes energy, pre-planning and a certain element of risk. I think I’m ready to invest that and get Brook Hollow ready to sell. I need some cooperation to get all the clothes and furniture out so I can make the changes recommended by the realtor, and hopefully that will happen soon. But then what? I don’t aspire to a mansion, more like something small, ideally on a bit of land I can build a little ADU on to get my making fix, woodworking fix, and art fix all at the same time but mostly I aspire to space and light. Brook Hollow has great light, great space, and even though I know that living on the second floor isn’t sustainable, and like with people, Brook Hollow sometimes significantly lets me down and causes months of pain and heartache in repairs, but sitting in the living room in the morning and afternoon light, its pretty nice. So I’m hoping to find someone to buy it who will feel the same, but there are dozens of fixes, declutters, moving, and arranging to do before that so I need to find some aspirations (beyond the realtors great suggestions) to keep my spirits up, but at the same time, they can’t impose on the “ready to show” appearance of the house, so I’m pondering on that.

I’ve always loved drawing, I could do more of that, each drawing is a rich set of memories for me, some wonderful at the time, painful now, but maybe drawing Louis Sullivan’s ornament will be an answer.

Shakespeare famously wrote “to be or not to be, that is the question” in Hamlet. There is no question I want to be, and need to be, its just a question of finding the right balance. Shakespeare’s quote goes on “whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them?” I think the nice guy suffers, the bad guy opposes, so again, its a question of balance. Being assertive enough to say what you want to happen and be ready to make it happen on your own seems important to not be taken advantage of. Thats a balance I need to achieve.

By now you’re thinking “good thing he doesn’t aspire to be a writer!” and I agree. As with the other blogs, this is written less to entertain, and more to think through my own situation, but thank you for enduring my writing. I’ll try to do better for you in the future. But for now, I need to aspire to sanding and restaining a table!

Keep your aspirations close, take a step towards them every day, and lend a helping hand to those around you taking their step.

Be safe, be good to each other.